Mindful Matters: Caregivers and Pediatric Atopic Dermatitis
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[MUSIC PLAYING] SUMMER FORLENZA: Some of the signs of burnout and stress for caregivers are going to be a reduction in sleep, having difficulty falling asleep, waking up a lot in the middle of the night changes in your appetite. So eating less than you used to, or eating more than you normally do. And also, a general loss of interest in your hobbies and the things that make you feel good, that bring you joy.
When I'm working with caregivers, I often like to say that when you care for yourself, you are also caring for your child. Because if you are really impacted by the burnout, or the overwhelm, or the stress, that's going to show up in how you're actually treating your child, how much emotional availability you have for them, and just like the level of patience that you can show up with.
I really like to encourage caregivers to have routines that help them to meet their own needs. Needs around sleep are probably the most important out of anything, because when our sleep goes, everything else goes after that. And then also, making sure that you have time for yourself. This might mean that you need to ask for help. Asking spouses, friends, or family members to watch your child and take care of their treatment. Even for a few hours a week, can be really, really helpful for caregivers to just reduce that level of burnout and overwhelm.
When a family is caring for a child with atopic dermatitis or any chronic condition, we're going to see that impact the entire family. If the child needs a lot of attention and emotional energy, that can decrease the amount of attention and emotional energy that can go to other members of the family. And that can show up in frustration or resentment or just a feeling of disconnection between other family members.
So having a family meeting is a really good way to get together once a week and talk about what are some of the challenges that have come up this week. I would also encourage families to talk about things that they appreciate or that went well that week. Can be really helpful to set aside one-on-one time with the children who are not ill, just so that they make sure that they're still feeling prioritized and cared about.
One of the lifestyle changes that I would recommend for people who are caregiving for children with atopic dermatitis is any practice that mirrors your breath and your movement. So yoga is a great example of this. Tai Chi is an example of this. Pilates and weightlifting are both ways that we can do this. You can even do this while you're walking if you're very intentional. But there's a lot of good research that shows that when we move with our breath, it helps our nervous system to regulate and to move us out of that fight or flight mode and into that rest or digest mode.
It's really common for caregivers to feel guilt or anxiety about their child's condition, about their child's skin, and that feeling of, I'm not doing enough. And one thing I say to almost every caregiver I've ever worked with is, this feels hard because it is hard. There's not a single caregiver on this planet who has been able to avoid feeling that at one time or another. And so when we're talking about self-compassion for folks who are caregiving, I always like to focus on just making space for the tough emotions that are a part of the experience and a part of the role.
That might look like having a couple of friends who are open to you, sharing the hard parts of caregiving. That might look like seeking out an individual therapist so that you have a safe place to really vent the hardest moments of the experience. It can even look like having a journal that's not shared with anyone else, where you can write about how you're feeling. But making space and a routine around processing how you're feeling, including those things that you would never say to the child you're caregiving for, but are a part of the experience can be really important.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
When I'm working with caregivers, I often like to say that when you care for yourself, you are also caring for your child. Because if you are really impacted by the burnout, or the overwhelm, or the stress, that's going to show up in how you're actually treating your child, how much emotional availability you have for them, and just like the level of patience that you can show up with.
I really like to encourage caregivers to have routines that help them to meet their own needs. Needs around sleep are probably the most important out of anything, because when our sleep goes, everything else goes after that. And then also, making sure that you have time for yourself. This might mean that you need to ask for help. Asking spouses, friends, or family members to watch your child and take care of their treatment. Even for a few hours a week, can be really, really helpful for caregivers to just reduce that level of burnout and overwhelm.
When a family is caring for a child with atopic dermatitis or any chronic condition, we're going to see that impact the entire family. If the child needs a lot of attention and emotional energy, that can decrease the amount of attention and emotional energy that can go to other members of the family. And that can show up in frustration or resentment or just a feeling of disconnection between other family members.
So having a family meeting is a really good way to get together once a week and talk about what are some of the challenges that have come up this week. I would also encourage families to talk about things that they appreciate or that went well that week. Can be really helpful to set aside one-on-one time with the children who are not ill, just so that they make sure that they're still feeling prioritized and cared about.
One of the lifestyle changes that I would recommend for people who are caregiving for children with atopic dermatitis is any practice that mirrors your breath and your movement. So yoga is a great example of this. Tai Chi is an example of this. Pilates and weightlifting are both ways that we can do this. You can even do this while you're walking if you're very intentional. But there's a lot of good research that shows that when we move with our breath, it helps our nervous system to regulate and to move us out of that fight or flight mode and into that rest or digest mode.
It's really common for caregivers to feel guilt or anxiety about their child's condition, about their child's skin, and that feeling of, I'm not doing enough. And one thing I say to almost every caregiver I've ever worked with is, this feels hard because it is hard. There's not a single caregiver on this planet who has been able to avoid feeling that at one time or another. And so when we're talking about self-compassion for folks who are caregiving, I always like to focus on just making space for the tough emotions that are a part of the experience and a part of the role.
That might look like having a couple of friends who are open to you, sharing the hard parts of caregiving. That might look like seeking out an individual therapist so that you have a safe place to really vent the hardest moments of the experience. It can even look like having a journal that's not shared with anyone else, where you can write about how you're feeling. But making space and a routine around processing how you're feeling, including those things that you would never say to the child you're caregiving for, but are a part of the experience can be really important.
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